Valentine's Day Cheat Sheet For Daters
1. Don't wear red or pink on Valentine's Day. Or if you do, make it a very very small part of your wardrobe choice.
This goes for whether you are on a date or if you are out alone.
Sounds silly, right? But it's smart to avoid red on this day because it shows you are thinking too much about the holiday and that you are so invested in it that you are going to dress up extra special in red or pink to celebrate it. Basically, you are too cool to wear red or pink. Wear a sexy black outfit or something else that is stunning. I can't imagine that on George and Amal's first Valentine's Day, she wore red or pink. She's too cool.
2. If you are single, get out. There are anti-Valentine's Day parties out there as well as other parties this Saturday. Or you could go to a bar or a restaurant with a few friends. If it really bothers you to be around couples on this day and you can't overcome it, then don't go to a place where you will be surrounded by couples. Find a singles event. If you have to stay home, try to make it an uplifting evening. Some of my clients are adamant that they don't want to go out because they think every single person out that night is a loser anyway. They feel like people will think they are a loser. I don't agree with that, but they are dead set against going out. So I advised them not to be alone, feeling sorry for themselves, while binging on TV and food, and told them to have some girls over and watch a movie together with healthy food on hand. Or, work on a vision board project. Each girl brings a poster board and a few magazines and a glue stick. Use all the energy you have - anger, frustration, despair, and hope - and re-focus it on the art project. Cut out images of happy couples, diamond rings from Tiffanys, adorable babies, a beautiful home, or whatever it is you want in your life.
3. Don't compare yourself to others. This is such a hard one. But it's worth repeating until it sinks in, and it will.
If you are dating, you might be prone to compare yourself with a friend whose boyfriend booked a much swankier Valentine's Day. As long as he is taking you out and getting you something romantic, you are fine. If you aren't dating, you might be comparing yourselves to your friends who do have boyfriends or husbands. That is not good either. Who knows what kind of relationship they have? They may be single next year and you could very well be in a great relationship. So don't fret about others. Just use the energy to focus on being your fabulous self.
4. If you have a date, and he's late for the date or called too late to make reservations at the fancy place you wanted to go to, don't complain. In fact, erase it out of your mind. Be happy you have a great date and that he is taking you out and buying you flowers or a gift. Smile a lot on the date. Be easy to be with. We Rules girls know this but it is worth repeating. When you behave like this, it comes back to you two and threefold.
5. As Valentine's Day approaches, don't drop hints. Don't even talk about the holiday. Let him bring it up! If he evades the day, says he doesn't celebrate the day, has plans Saturday with the guys, you need to rethink the relationship and most likely dump him.
6. The guy will want very little, if anything, as a gift for the day. I dated a guy who had a very romantic and creative dinner planned at a romantic venue several hours away. He brought flowers and food for the two hour drive. The detail he took to plan the date was phenomenal. It will go down in history. I had been seeing him only three months and it was so new that I gave him nothing, and he didn't notice. He was just so happy that we were together, that I was happy and he was proud of what a great date he planned. He was also so happy I could make the date. For work reasons I almost missed it so he was ecstatic when I told him I could indeed make it.
If you are dating someone longer and you are at a more serious stage of the relationship, then you may want to get something small. I would suggest a funny card. You can't go wrong with that. And I would not sign it "love." Nope. And maybe a little candy to go with it. That's really it. Once you are engaged or married you can get something more, but overall less is more in this area, as in many areas.
Have a great Valentine's Day! Feel free to message for a consult for help getting through specific Valentine's Day situations or for any dating advice in general!!
I give smart successful women tools to weed out time-wasters and teach them how to find their Mr. Forevers.