Happy New Year everyone!
Let’s start 2018 off brimming with positivity and good vibes! In all aspects of your life, including in your online dating profile.
When your online dating profile is negative, the men and the experiences you attract will be negative, too.
Here are some tips to keep in mind while writing (or editing, i.e. improving on) your profile.
DON’T write about what you don't want.
Too many women don’t get this!
Just like it’s a negative way of approaching life, it’s a negative way of approaching dating.
For anyone who has done manifesting work, this will come as no surprise. Whenever you are putting something out there into the world, you put it out there in a positive way. In fact, the times I do manifesting work that mentions anything negative, I erase the comments (or toss the paper) so they aren't lingering around. I keep only the positive declarations in my written and online journals.
Plus, when you say in your profile something like: “I don’t want manipulative men,” it’s essentially a turn-off to an emotionally healthy guy. A high quality guy knows - subconsciously or consciously - to stay clear. That kind of phrase leads him to believe that a woman’s prior relationships were likely messy and unhealthy.
Another reason not to write what you don't want in an online dating profile is because it does no good anyhow. It won't necessarily prevent the guys you don't want from contacting you. Asking for someone who is not a player won't ensure that a player won't ask you out.
The best way to keep those guys from coming into your life is to have the right mindset and the right dating strategy.
You can write about your hobbies and interests and of course deal-breakers, like religion, locale, kids situation, and age. Those are important. Beyond that, you can talk on the date and let them learn more about you then.
Also, you must watch a guy’s actions throughout the dating process. You don’t jump into anything too fast. You don’t accept exclusivity too soon. You don’t have sex too soon. You take it slow because that’s the best way to see what a guy is made of.
The thing to put the most effort in when putting together an online dating profile is your profile photos, because as we all know, photos are the main thing guys look at.
Beyond that, keep your profile short sweet and upbeat!
Ladies, if you are struggling to meet high quality guys, fill out this form to apply to work with me to get your profile up to snuff.
Wishing you all the best in 2018--may it be a year filled with positivity, success, joy, adventure and love!
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty - Winston Churchill
I talk to many ladies who are feeling despair over their dating and relationship life. Either they are frustrated that their boyfriend is not treating them right, or they are single and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, or they are feeling a loss of hope over a whole host of other factors.
With the holiday season in full swing, emotions can be magnified. It’s a beautiful time of the year - but if you aren’t in a good place it can be easy to sink into hopelessness.
I want to share something inspirational I just came across, something a friend texted me once, and it was so beautiful and helpful, I cut and pasted it and put it aside in a special folder of inspiring words.
I had been trying to get my business off the ground, but suffered a few setbacks in my business early on. Nothing out of the ordinary, but difficult nonetheless for someone who had no business, marketing or sales background. I was passionate about coaching, and was going to make it work, but that didn’t mean there weren’t trying times in the beginning.
Here’s are the words from a friend that made all the difference:
Be especially grateful for the really difficult moments. The really dark ones, when you start to question everything, that challenge you the most. It will really force you to become comfortable with being uncomfortable and learn to trust.
Always stay open and never say never. As you change and evolve as a person, your whole worldview can shift and change in an instant.
Just like these words touched me, I’m sure they will touch those of you who might be suffering a setback or difficulty of any kind - be it dating-related or in any part of your life.
How you react to your failures and setbacks is what will make or break you.
It might be hard to see when you are in the situation, but this is true. So embrace the failures. Stay as positive as you can throughout them. Just know - have faith - that you will get through it. Because you know what? You will.
This kind of thing is so hard to see in the moment, but if you can stick it out and have faith even in the darkest times, you will prevail. Giving up, and not learning from your setbacks and failures will keep you stuck.
When I look back at my business setbacks, and see them now through a different lens, I see how they propelled me much further ahead in my business, although I never would have thought so at the time.
The same can be said about any failure you may be dealing with: A relationship that had promise but simply failed. Or a broken off engagement. Or any romantic setback you regard as a failure.
Don’t let it get you down. Don’t let it make you cynical about love. Don’t let it cause you to give up totally on men. If you keep getting out there, using that mistake as a teaching lesson, you will be much better off than you were before.
Say, for example, your ex broke off your engagement, and you are shattered beyond belief. You are ready to crawl into a hole, declare all men jerks and live with your cats forever. Maybe that is how you feel initially, but you need to keep moving and also see your role in any equation. When you play the victim and when you don’t look on the bright side, you stay stuck.
It really comes down to a choice.
View that failure or setback in a way that will help you grow. Or view it in a woe is me way, which will keep you stuck.
It’s my experience that when something isn’t working, it’s best to let it go. It’s the universe saying: “This isn’t working. Let it go. Let’s make room for something else.”
Depending on the situation, it could be that the person was all wrong for you. Maybe they were simply a buyer beware who was going to hurt you even more in the future. Or it could be that you were all wrong, that you need to change - perhaps you are a negative person and were repelling the man you were involved with by constant nagging.
It’s hard to see any rejection or loss in the moment as a positive, but there is often a silver lining, and these rejections are often gifts if you are willing to look at them in that light.
It doesn’t mean you bury any problems, or ignore problems. It’s important to keep your eyes open and see what your role is in any situation. But try to see the silver lining, because there usually is a silver lining.
Ladies, if you are struggling with an issue related to dating, relationships or life this holiday season, APPLY HERE for a complimentary call to discuss ways I can help you.
Ladies, the inner game of dating is HUGE.
You can be beautiful and a great catch, but if your insides aren’t in the right place, it will be hard to find a quality guy.
Some women are unconfident, others simply believe they don’t deserve a good guy, while others sabotage because they have fears of commitment, or for other reasons.
Many ladies need a helping hand in their search for Mr. Forever.
That is why I have assembled for you a handy gift guide this season with gifts for the inner game that you can buy for yourself - or put on your holiday wish list - to help you in your search for Mr. Forever.
1. A Blank Journal
Whatever is going on externally is a manifestation of what is going on inside. Thoughts lead to your reality.
Journaling is one way to keep the inner game in a good place.
One journaling technique is to write out what you want, but don’t yet have, and normalize it. For example, you can write: “It is normal that I have…..”
The more you write it, the more you feel like it’s normal that you have it. If a goal doesn’t feel “normal,” it means you have more work to do to begin receiving it.
Journals can also be extremely gratifying because they show you how far you have come. I’ve looked back over the months and years and have seen certain dreams manifest, and that is SUCH a beautiful feeling.
2. Two High Vibe Courses to Jumpstart Your Search for Mr. Forever
These are the two courses I recommend, depending on your price point, and on the time and energy you have to devote to your search for Mr. Forever:
A) Getting Clarity on Mr. Forever
This is a 7-day course that will help you find Mr. Forever by showing you the tools to get clarity on what you are looking for. When you are super clear on what you want to manifest, the search is much quicker and smoother.
The course delves into getting clear on the right guy, and working on obstacles - any fears or worries or anger from a past relationship - that may be getting in the way. We work on blocks that come up, and I show you how to begin manifesting a great guy.
This course contains personal attention via email from me throughout the seven days.
B) MAN-ifesting Mr. Forever
This is a longer six-week course, which helps ladies who are on that hamster wheel trying to find Mr. Forever. I created the course after working with numerous beautiful ladies who were struggling to meet high quality men.
Many women have the strategy down, but they fumble because they don't have the right attitude, don’t think they are worthy, or for a variety of other reasons. The principals you will learn in this course are the MISSING LINK for so many ladies.
This course contains six lesson plans on a variety of important topics, like boundaries, femininity and confidence, and also includes personalized attention from me, including phone/Skype coaching.
3. A Daily Appointment Book
Having an appointment book - whether it’s a print one or a virtual one - will keep you on track and committed to get out to social events each week. When you are single, you need to be out and about, mingling and going places where you might meet Mr. Forever. It is way too easy to have a “Why even bother?” attitude when it comes to taking the right steps to find Mr. Forever.
When you don’t book the events in your daily planner, it’s easy to miss an event. You can be all gung ho, and excited for your weekly social events, but it’s so easy to lose your resolve when it actually comes time to do the work to doll yourself up and get to the event.
So to keep you on the fastest path to meet Mr. Forever, I suggest you get an appointment book of some kind, and make sure it’s filled weekly with at least three non-negotiable events.
4. Poster Board, Magazines, Glue and Scissors
This is all you need to make a vision board, which is a visual representation of what you want your life to be like. Making vision boards is like craft time with the universe. They are not only fun to make, but they are so very effective. Vision boards allow you to dream big, and when you ask for something, the universe very often delivers.
Now, I would love to hear from you. What is your go-to tool to keep your inner game strong around the holidays?
If you need more help navigating the holidays, apply for a complimentary call to discuss ways I can help you.
For some single ladies, the holidays are tough. From the dreaded: “Why are you single?” question at family get-togethers to the couple-oriented activities that remind them of what they might be missing, some ladies find themselves in a big funk this time of the year.
It doesn’t have to be that way!
Here are some suggestions to keep your spirits up this holiday season.
It’s an easy time to be social – there are lots of parties and fun opportunities abound.
Take advantage of all the parties and go OUT OUT OUT. Even if you have to go to parties alone. Go alone. Just go go go and the more you go out, the more people you will meet and the better you will feel. Also, sign up for online sites and just date up a storm.
Don’t Think You Can Do It All
Spreading yourself thin is no fun any time of the year, especially around the holidays.
Don’t think you have to be Martha Stewart, spending all week cooking up a picture perfect feast, and decorating your house out of something you might see in House Beautiful. Focus on one thing. If you are single, you will get more out of getting out there and mingling. You can have your Martha Stewart holiday the following year, when you find a great guy to share it with.
One thing I would suggest doing, however, if you can spare the time, is volunteering - even for one day - at a homeless shelter, food pantry or any other organization that is in great need of volunteers around the holidays. Not only will you be helping someone out, but it will give your mood a boost and take your mind off all your worries. You may realize you are luckier than you imagine you are.
Think Good Thoughts
Easier said than done sometimes. But so much in life has to do with your attitude.
Single women I work with often have negative self-defeating patterns in their head, like: “I will never meet a great guy.” If that thought pops in your head, gently turn it around. Tell yourself. “I have a great guy.” Say it with emotion and believe it. It will happen.
I really feel it comes down to a personal choice. You can choose to have a positive attitude or you can choose to stay stuck and unhappy. When you chose the positive path, all things are possible.
I’m a big fan of these, and not only around the holidays. Write down 10 things you are grateful for every day. Shifts happen quickly when you focus on thing in your life you are grateful for. Focus on the good stuff, and you get even more of it.
Now, I would love to hear from you. What is the biggest thing you are dreading this holiday season? What are you most looking forward to?
If you need more help navigating the holidays, apply for a complimentary call to discuss ways I can help you.
I give smart successful women tools to weed out time-wasters and teach them how to find their Mr. Rights.