I know a lot of you single ladies have Mr. Forever on your Secret Santa wish list. I hope you get him!
While you are still single and looking, here are 6 more items to add to your list.
It’s a list of essential clothing items that will help you look hot and stylish while you are out mingling and going on dates this winter.
As I write in my upcoming book, the single lady should be dressing for men, not being a slave to fashion.
Anything too costume-y or too high fashion is simply weird to them.
These items are sexy and stylish staples that you can feel confident while wearing. They will add a bit of flair to your wardrobe, yet you won’t feel clownish or like you are going overboard.
Black puffer coat with fake fur hood
This is a go-to for casual afternoon errands when it’s cold outside. Instead of a masculine-looking warm coat, a puffer with a fake fur hood adds a dose of femininity to your look.
A white puffer coat with fake fur hood is stunning too, especially if you are rocking a tan from your Thanksgiving cruise. But if you can only get it in one color, I would suggest buying it in black because black is more versatile.
A little bit of black leather
Whether it’s a leather top, skirt, jacket or pants, you will feel like the cool goddess you are when you wear black leather. It adds pizazz to your outfit and looks super cool. Just make sure you aren’t dressed from head-to-toe in black leather. That is going overboard.
Leopard is always in, but it’s especially in these days, and it’s sexy. A leopard coat, a bag, a pair of shoes, a top. These are all great items to own in leopard.
Just be careful as to how you wear this timeless print. Like with leather, don’t wear leopard head-to-toe either.
It’s best to pair it with something neutral, like black or denim. If you start adding bright colors into the mix, you lose the allure of the leopard and start looking too costume-y.
Over the knee boots
Over the knee boots are versatile and can be worn with just about anything - jeans, dresses, skirts, shorts - and they are super in now. They are also hot.
Black is always a great basic color to get them in. But other colors are also amazing, like tan or gray.
These classic coats never seem to go out of style, and they look good on most everyone. Just find the right fit for your body type. Peacoats are a great date night coat in cold weather months.
Something sequin or metallic
Sequins and metallic items add a little sizzle to your outfit.
Again, don’t go over the top. There’s a way to wear sequins, and that is in a low key way. Less is more.
A sequin dress, top or skirt in a low-key color, like black or silver, works well.
Sequins in bright colors like purple or red are harder to pull off.
And say you are wearing a sequined skirt, best not to wear it with anything too busy on top. A solid print on top is perfect.
I would love to hear from you now. What is your favorite date night outfit? The one that always makes you feel good?
Please post your comments below.
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Looking for extra help finding Mr. Forever? Apply here for a complimentary call to discuss possible ways I can help you.
.Banner images + photo credits: Luvv It (leopard coat), ShopStyle (leather pants), Just the Design (boots).
I decided to write this blog post after a friend and I saw this painting “The Lovers,” by René Magritte last weekend at the MoMa in NYC. This uniquely private display of affection got us talking about public displays of affection and how we both lean toward the conservative side when it comes to PDA, first date hugging, etc. As I was staring at the painting thinking: “This will be a good blog topic,” my friend said: “You should write about that for your next blog.” And that is how this blog entry was born.
That is one of those first date questions that seems super clear cut to me, but apparently not everyone agrees.
To me, hugging a guy within seconds of meeting him for the first time is weird and uncomfortable.
Many people are meeting blind dates or online dates for dinner, drinks or coffee, and often times one of them will go to hug or hug and kiss the other as a greeting.
Personally, when this happens to me, I recoil. Other times, I have gone along with it, but kept my distance.
Once, I remember meeting a guy for a drink and I just couldn’t do it. He came toward me to hug me and kiss me on the cheek. He smelled like cigarettes, and he wasn’t appealing to me at all physically, and I pulled away. Our 3-minute meeting - which took place standing in a bar area - was super awkward. I felt horrible about how it all played out.
When I pulled away, the guy looked real upset, like he was going to cry. I tried to apologize, saying something like: “I’m not a big hugger.” As I looked around the room, I noticed people were watching us, laughing, engrossed in the human drama playing out in front of them. I guess it was obvious exactly what was going on.
I texted a friend of mine when I got back into my car. “Am I weird for thinking this is weird?” I asked.
“I understand what you are saying,” she texted back. “Though personally it doesn’t bother me. The hugging and kissing the cheek thing is the norm in NYC.”
I have talked to other single friends about this and I have found opinions are mixed.
While I felt bad that the guy was so upset, I don’t know if I would have done anything different.I’m not sure this “hugging” issue has a right or wrong answer.
I think it’s more about one’s comfort level. To me, it’s just weird to hug someone you have only known in person for like 2 seconds.
It is just one of many types of boundary scenarios you're going to encounter while dating. While it’s important to be easy to be with, you do need to stick up for yourself and have good boundaries.
Sometimes boundaries can be tricky, and enforcing them isn’t always pretty. Sticking up for yourself isn’t always going to be popular.
Now, I would love to hear from you.
How do you feel about hugging someone you just met on a blind date? Would love to hear everyone’s take on this.
Please post your comments below.
Looking for extra help finding Mr. Forever?
Apply here for a complimentary call to discuss possible ways I can help you.
When I was in my teens and twenties, men seemed so complicated. I had no idea how to act, and it seemed as if I was always getting hurt, or misreading signals.
I made excuses for men who weren’t stepping up to the plate.
After a great deal of heartache, I finally “got” men after being taught by a few great mentors. It was such a life-changing AND life-enhancing experience, I trained to become a dating and relationship coach, and my whole career path changed.
Men became crystal clear. They were no longer difficult to understand, nor was I confused any longer.
Once you understand men, life is not only so much easier, but your relationships with men become better and you’re more likely to find your Mr. Forever.
When it’s not meant to be, you can read the signs very easily and gracefully let go of a situation. You no longer spend time with men who aren’t in it for the long haul.
You date men who are truly interested in you.
You aren’t distracted at work, like I would often be, wondering why a guy hadn’t called, or feeling insecure about where I stood.
I notice that clients and other women I talk to often get confused by signs.
Sometimes they even think negatively about something that actually isn’t that bad. Like, if a guy is always 15 minutes late for a date, they think he’s disrespecting them. Or, they think if a guy doesn’t text them non-stop during the week that he’s fooling around on them. In my experience, both of those scenarios - lateness and a lack of texting - aren’t in and of themselves reasons to find find big fault with a guy.
Once you get good at this, you know who to keep in your life and who to say “NEXT” to.
You weed out time-wasters and only allow in your life quality men who are interested in treating you like a princess.
Here are key things to look for:
He mentions the future. Maybe not in an obvious way like: “When we are married…” But he talks about his hopes, dreams and plans.
He’s on his best behavior. He tries to impress you. If you are gluten free, he’s sure to find a gluten-free restaurant. He pays for dinner. Holds the door for you. Drives to your area for the date.
He remembers things you have told him, such as how “The Walking Dead” is your favorite show, and he makes future plans with the show in mind, i.e. looking for “The Walking Dead” zombie parties, buying you paraphernalia from the show, that sort of thing.
He tries to integrate you into his life, and wants you to meet his friends, family and pets.
He buys romantic gifts, flowers, jewelry, cute objects that remind him of you, gifts for your pet, and more. He’s also been known to send you handwritten cards and letters.
Thumbs up if you are dating a guy and all five are present.
If not, and you’re looking for extra help finding Mr. Forever, apply here for a complimentary call to discuss possible ways I can help you.
Get online! Get back on the horse.
That's the single best tip I can give you after a break-up. Hands down.
It’s what I told co-hosts Barb Hazelton and Jo Briggs who interviewed me as part of a massive divorce podcast series they put together.
One of the questions they asked me was whether a newly single person should wait before starting to date again.
The conventional wisdom is that after a break-up, you should take a lot of time to analyze what went wrong, and work on your issues before you date again. In my opinion, that’s wrong, for several reasons.
As a dating coach, I see too many people, ladies especially, waiting way too long to get back out there, and then several years go by and they wonder where the time went. Too often women spend way too much time analyzing a prior break-up, so much so that they spend years being angry at their ex, while he has already moved forward.
While I believe you should look inward and examine your role in the break-up or any issues you think you could improve upon, I also believe that getting back out there will make you feel better. You might find a good guy who will distract you and get you out of the negative funk you are in.
You can work on your issues and become a better person while you are navigating the dating waters. If you get back on the horse, and pace any new relationships - which is what I recommend to my dating coaching clients - you won’t be jumping back into the fire right away anyhow. You will be taking it slow, which is healthy.
You can’t go wrong if you take it slow.
On the video, I also discuss with Barb and Jo clothing tips and suggestions for those awkward first dates, and more.
Even if you aren’t divorced, but are simply single, these tips will no doubt be helpful.
To watch the video, click here.
I'd love to hear your ideas on the topic of dating immediately after a break-up, and
any other topics discussed in the blog or in the video. Post away below.
If you are newly single, or if you have been single for a while, you may need tools to help you find your Mr. Forever. Get in touch to apply for a 30-minute call where I can explain to you how I can help you find your Mr. Forever in the next year.
After you fill out the short application form, I will be in touch if I think we will be a good fit to work together, and I will schedule a call with you.