Finding Perfection in Imperfection
Wabi-sabi, the Japanese art of appreciating beauty in an imperfect world, can teach everyone a thing or two about feeling good about themselves.
I have read a few articles on wabi-sabi recently - including this:
http://www.wholeliving.com/133628/wabi-sabi-your-life-6-strategies-embracing-imperfection - and wanted to share the concept in case it can help someone who isn’t feeling great about themselves.
It’s a fascinating concept to be aware of, and hopefully it can empower you to be more confident in life and in finding your dream mate.
Whenever you are feeling really down about a body image issue, or focusing too much on an imperfection, you are not doing yourself any favors. Thinking negative thoughts will bring down your vibration and will shake your confidence, chipping away at your “It Girl’ status.
As a dating coach and matchmaker, I do focus on the outside - on one’s looks and hair, make-up, clothes, and accessories - quite a bit. The package is a huge part of dating and feeling good when dating. How we look on the outside is important if you are single and looking to find a mate. It’s also important to most single daters when they are looking for a mate. My single clients - men and women - want attractive mates.
But, the reason I love this concept of wabi-sabi is because it appreciates beauty, despite imperfections and that is what I want for every single one of my clients.
I want my clients to be the best they can be, not necessarily the most perfect they can be. Besides, who is born with perfect model looks anyway? And what is considered model looks? Different people see beauty differently, depending on a whole host of factors, including your generation and your culture.
I want clients to feel beautiful and realize they are beautiful “It Girls,” despite that wrinkle, or that imperfection.
Airbrushing and photoshopping in magazines doesn't help. It can be tough to feel confident if you think you are less than.
As women, were are endlessly critical of ourselves, and like a lot of women, I magnify my flaws and sometime obsess about them. When I learned about this philosophy I realized I could use it to help myself feel better about my imperfections, to help me feel more confident and less insecure about the little things that I imagine are wrong.
Every blemish or imperfection is magnified in our minds. You can ruin a whole evening focusing on your flaws. It’s a uniquely female thing to do.
Even models do this. I know a guy who only dates models and he says they are the most insecure people in the world. Maybe moreso. Their exterior is their bread and butter, their focus in life and what others expect of them.
The wabi-sabi concept can help you feel better about yourself when feeling really down about a body part, or when you’re feeling like you aren’t up to par.
Realize when people are looking at you, they are looking at your overall being, they don’t zone in on your imperfections like you might think.
And not everyone is going to love you. Men have their types.
The ones who do love your type will look at the big picture. They love your essence. When you get a good guy, he loves you unconditionally and notices your gorgeous eyes and may not even notice those extra wrinkles that are sending your self-esteem in the gutter.
Think of a lush green forest. The forest is still beautiful, despite the less than appealing looking tree. It is still stunning and something that inspires people to look and take photos. Same with a beautiful bouquet of flowers - the collection of flowers is still beautiful, even though some petals might be missing or damaged.
Think of the beautiful women you know. They may have imperfections, but you likely don’t zone in on them because you are looking at the big picture.
So, moral of the story: accept that you are beautiful, even though you are not perfect.
I hope this blog got everyone feeling just a little more confident and less worried about their flaws.
If you would like to continue this conversation, please comment below, or get in touch via email, and we can turn your dating or relationship life around, at firstname.lastname@example.org
I give smart successful women tools to weed out time-wasters and teach them how to find their Mr. Forevers.