He Said That!?
This blog post is for men and women who are dating online.
Men, after you read it, you will have a better feel for what turns off women.
Women, don't worry, you are not alone. We all get ridiculous emails from potential suitors online. We've all been there.
Below are actual words taken from guy's online dating profiles and emails to women.
In Men's Dating Profiles
I see London, I see France, I see your underpants.
My age is 59. I don't live in NYC, my son does. I'm profiled here because I'm always surrounded by women I'm attracted to when I visit him. Perhaps I can actually meet one of you this way.
I am quite an athlete. In fact I was in the 1992 Olympics. I competed in the origami event, which you probably didn't see because it was only available on paper view.
My dating REFUND policy; If we go out and you don’t have the best date ever, I will withdraw my subscription to this site if I don't live up to your expectations.
Emails From Men To Potential Dates:
Dont know what to say ...if i saw u across a room sumwhere i dont think i could go over n say hallo. You have a beauty to you you have a draw that brings on observers eye to you..............,
Sure all the other guys are great..they tell you so..But you know down deep all guys are basically the same..The other guys use their shiny lures as bait... They love candle light dinners..holding hands walking along a moonlit beach.. shopping endlessly for shoes and handbags at your favorite mall. They have cars, boats, condos in the islands and of course they're connected..... yeah, yeah, yeah In two years they're the same old bs artist as your last man. You want a real man, I tell it like it is...I like to sit on the couch and watch tv in my mothers basement.
You have a beautiful smile!
I'm going out on a limb here and not sure if I should do this but I want to offer you a 1 - 1.5 hr massage near a warm fire. I'm an ex Physical Therapist that gives massages in my home, and I would love to have you as a steady client! No charge and as often as you would like a massage!
Well at least a few times a month :-)
I know it's a very unusual offer and I hope you don't take it the wrong way but it is a much longer and much nicer experience with the fire and the length of the massage compared to going to a salon and spending $100 for a basic 30 - 45 minute massage. If you try it and like it I have no problem giving you a great massage on a regular basis.
My name is (redacted) and I would love to be your Personal Masseur.
And we can meet first if you'd like to see that I am a very normal guy, just looking to pamper you on my massage table :-)
if you weigh less than 130 I am interested
Guys, some of you have quite a bit of work to do if you want to get a nice girl. Here are a few quick pointers. Trust us on these:
1. The photos of you next to tigers aren't as exciting to us as you might think. And because so many guys seem to be putting up profiles of themselves next to tigers, it doesn't even make you stand out.
2. We don't want to see you with your shirts off, at least not before we meet you.
3. We love that you love your kids, but uploading photos of your kids, or photos of you with your kids, is wrong on so many levels. We aren't going to date you based on what your kids look like. And is that really fair to them, to have their photos on a dating site?
4. A wink is really lame.
5. A wink without a photo is even lamer. Why would anyone return a wink without a profile photo? There is nothing to go on there except a username. That's a step below walking by a woman at a bar and winking at her but never starting a conversation with her.
Women, do you have any funny emails from online guys that you would like to share? We would love to hear about them in the comments section below. And guys, if you see yourself in some of these posts, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow Karenna on Twitter @coachkarenna for some pointers. Let me be your personal trainer for dating!
Own Your Situation
When you are out at a speeddating event, or corresponding with a guy online, make sure you OWN IT.
By that, I mean make no excuses for being out and about, trying to find your match, your true love. It's a worthy goal and too many people act as if they are embarrassed to be at a singles event or dating online.
I see the opposite of not owning it all the time, and it's not pretty. It's a turn-off, whether you are a woman or a man.
I have seen this behavior at singles mixers when I hear guys say:
"Oh, I'm here because my friend said I should be here tonight, I didn't even know what this was, he just said I had to show up. So that's the only reason why I'm here."
Or at speeddating events, a woman will say: "I never would have done speeddating. The sole reason I am doing it is because I was at the bar and the organizer told me she was short a person."
Or online, when a guy will say: "What are you doing on Match? Can't you meet people in real life?"
If you are single, and making an effort to meet someone, you need to own it. Man or woman.
We women know how much we like confident guys. The same is true of them-they like self-assured girlfriends and wives.
Here are five of my tips for being more confident, in general.
1. Looking good cannot be underestimated. If you look good, you feel good. I'm big on working on the inside, but I also believe in spending time making yourself look great on the outside. Makeup, hair, clothes, working out, etc. etc. etc. It's never ending, but it's worth it. It's not shallow.
2. Surround yourself with people who support you. This can be easier said than done. But you have to try to be with people who build you up, who love you, support you. Sometimes it takes time to detach from negative people. But once you have supportive people around you, your life will be so much easier.
3. Eat well. It's so easy to get tripped up here. Tempting high calorie foods and drinks are everywhere.
If you are a sugar addict, like I was, or hooked on some other type of bad food, you may have to quit cold turkey.
If you aren't ready to do that yet, try adding in the good stuff - like a green juice or a large plate of vegetables. Filling up on healthy foods - especially vegetables - causes you to eat less of the bad.
Eating nutritiously cannot be underestimated for reasons going beyond controlling your weight - the right foods can be healing and give you incredible energy.
4. Gratitude lists are huge. They fill you up with good stuff, and get you to focus on the positive. Just as with eating, I suggest adding in the good stuff instead of beating yourself up for having negative thoughts. Either write down the things you are thankful for or check the list off in your head. Or you can download a gratitude app.
5. Act AS IF. Some days, we all want to crawl into a hole. We feel ugly and fat and it's raining and your hair is frizzy. Those are the days to channel your inner movie star. How would Angelina navigate this speeddating event? Faking it til you make it often works.
If you act "as if," eat right, work on the outside and the inside, you will be much more self-assured in the dating world. For more help in these areas - dating, eating healthy, looking good and feeling good - I'm here to help. Contact me at email@example.com or on Twitter at @coachkarenna Let me be your personal trainer for dating!