Tinder and other online dating sites can work like a charm.
In fact, approximately 80 percent of my clients have met boyfriends and husbands on Tinder, Match, Coffee Meets Bagel, Plenty of Fish, and other apps. Others have met through friends or real life.
Many women are still confused and making mistakes online, though. One area where women mess up is in their bios.
If you put the wrong stuff out there to the Tinder universe, you won't get the right stuff (Mr. Right) back.
Here are 5 things NOT to do:
💋 Don't include photos of you with anyone else.
Leave out photos of you with other friends (male or female). Eliminate family members (kids or parents or grandparents). Don't post snaps with your pets. Men want to see you, and only you. So many men tell me it drives them crazy when they see photos of women posing along with several others. Besides being confusing, it kills the mystery.
💋Don't write about what you don't want.
When you write about what you don't want on Tinder, you put out negative energy. When you say: "If you're a player, go away," men start to wonder what it is about your personality that attracts players. You also sound damaged, whether or not you are. Plus, even when you say you don't want a player, a player can still ask you out.
💋Don't include old photos in your profile.
Even nice men have told me they cut dates short when a woman misrepresents herself. Make sure you look awesome in your photos, as great as you would look on a date or on a night out on the town. You can put photos through a filter, but don't alter the photos too much.
💋 Don't show men a window into your soul too soon.
These men are strangers. Don't write a book. There are only a few details you need to include, such as age and locale, and a few hobbies and interests.
You can include your profession, but it's best to be general so men can't track you down too easily. You might even want to consider using an "online dating' name. It could be a middle name or a nickname. This keeps you somewhat anonymous, which is what you want in the beginning, until you know you're with a good guy. If you include your dating history, deep wants and desires, work triumphs, and major life epiphanies, you're oversharing. Your profile will start to sound like a Lifetime movie. At this early stage, think: "Short, sweet and upbeat."
💋 Don't lie about your age.
You want a man who wants someone who is your age. When I was a matchmaker, I was doing a search for a client who was 10 years younger, using my own profile, and listed my age as 10 years younger. After we stopped working together I forgot to change the age on that profile, and I ended up meeting and dating a man who approached me online. Even though we dated for many months, something was off about that relationship. I truly feel he would have been weeded out from Day 1 if I had listed my correct age.
One final tip: You need to be in it to win it, so make sure you try online dating.
If you'd like more online dating help, you can purchase an online dating package from me for $249, where I critique one online dating profile (photo and text). The package also includes 30 minutes of phone or email/text follow up.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org to sign up for that package, and write ONLINE DATING PACKAGE in the subject line.