Men Focus On Looks, Women Look At Everything
Men are picky about looks. Women are picky about everything.
One of the most fascinating things about being a dating coach and matchmaker is that I get to see - up close and personal - just how different men and women are.
I am not here to judge, but to point it out so men and women can learn from one another. It’s instructive for both sides to know what the other is thinking.
I have found that in the online dating arena, men really do focus on one thing: looks. You don’t have to be supermodel hot, but have to have their look. Women have to try to look good. Dumpy photos just don’t work.
When I speak to men, their main gripes center on attraction. They say the attractive women don’t respond back to their emails. Or that when they end up on a date with the woman, she looks less attractive than her picture. I know, cruel, right? But it’s what they tell me.
The women, on the other hand, have much more wide-ranging complaints. They tend to look at profiles and think about whether the man will make a good boyfriend and if they see something odd about the profile, or too sexual, they think he is only in it for a hook-up, and that he isn’t that smart, and they start losing interest.
Some of the things that drive women crazy include:
The bottom line is this:
If you are a man, it’s worth reading the list to see if you are a serious offender. Some of these transgressions are relatively minor - like taking a selfie in the bathroom. On the other hand, a guy with no photos, or with only a photo shading his face, immediately turns women off because they think you are hiding something, and they may be right.
As for what I would tell women, make sure you have an honest photo up that also shows you in the best light - great hair and makeup and clothes.
Online dating is visual. Men are visual. Put your best foot forward and be the best you can be on the outside. It’s not shallow. In the dating world, if you want to attract a man you have to be the best you can be. Take care of yourself and show off your best assets.
Women should also try to give guys who don’t put up perfect profiles a chance. Guys don't think about this stuff quite as much as women do. Meet him in person and then you will see.
Good luck dating out there and if you want to take your dating game to the next level - with inside tips on the opposite sex - schedule a consultation! My one-hour package includes four weekly follow up check ins!