Facebook is called Fakebook for a reason
As a dating coach, I sometimes dissect celebrity and other high profile relationships, as a way to help women spot healthy courtships and marriages.
Women are looking for role models, and many aspire to be something better - more confident, a better girlfriend, a more loving wife, a more attractive dater, or happier or more stylish or all of the above.
Role models help people achieve their goals faster.
The problem that can arise is if you start obsessing about how badly you want their life, or simply allow this person to make you feel bad about yourself because you feel like you are coming up so short compared to them.
Remember this: When it comes to the world of the Internet and the outer world, you are often comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides. And that is just not a fair comparison. It’s not fair to compare yourself to someone’s carefully crafted outer image.
I’m all for role models, because they can help inspire you and make you a better person. They can give you goals to strive for. Good role models can inject you with excitement that makes you more motivated to work toward your goal.
HOWEVER, be careful to not let any of this bring you down. Because you have no idea what is going on underneath. Your role model may appear to have it all, yet it may be all an outer show. She or he may be showcasing for the world.
Two suicides earlier this year in the NYC celebrity world had me thinking about this a great deal.
Kate Spade seemed to have it all on the surface - a successful handbag line in NYC, a marriage to a best friend, a daughter, all the trappings of a wealthy NYC life - yet she was still very unhappy and committed suicide.
Celebrity chief Anthony Bourdain died as well of suicide. He seemed to have the career - filled with food travel and culture - and a NYC lifestyle that many would envy. Yet he had his demons.
So moral of the story is that it’s OK to have idols and role models. It’s OK to aspire to something better, grander, and to have and want to achieve certain goals. But try to never let other people’s perceived success make you feel bad.
Use it to inspire and motivate you, but don't let it get you down!
You are more successful in many ways than you can imagine.
I give smart successful women tools to weed out time-wasters and teach them how to find their Mr. Rights.