Is Dating Different for 'Older Daters'
A lot of reporters seem to be focusing lately on the over 40 or over 50 crowd. I have been getting several requests in the last month or so from journalists who want my advice on what they call "Older Daters."
Since I work with a wide range of coaching clients, I have to say there are many similarities between all the age groups. Also, men are men, whether they are young or old. Same with women. A lot of things that work for younger women work for women who are older, etc.
When pressed this week to discuss dating over 50, I did have a few thoughts.
One thing I have noticed with some men and women over 50 is that they are more trusting. Not all, but it happens.
AARP frequently writes articles on this topic. They write quite a bit about how people in their demographic, which is 50 plus, tend to get scammed more often. They don't only get scammed when dating online, but overall they are more prone. They are simply of a more trusting generation and are more susceptible to getting duped, many experts tell AARP.
Even very intelligent men and women can be vulnerable because they are recently widowed or divorced, and alone for the first time in a long time.
They believe what they want to believe, even if it's too good to be true, especially when it's too good to be true.
The scammers are good at what they do. Every year, they get better and better, trying to make their scams more and more believable.
If you are an older dater, don't fret. Just be extra careful, and don't feel bad about protecting yourself. Because some older daters are too nice - they don't want to offend - they end up getting in situations where they get hurt.
If a dater is unsure as to whether they are dealing with a scammer, run the scenario by a trusted friend, preferably one who is street smart.
Other safety tips include:
1. Never give out your real cell number. It's easy for scammers to find you that way. (Many scammers are not local, but still it's good to be untraceable when dealing with strangers). Get a burner phone or google voice, both of which are not traceable. So if a scammer does try to find you, he or she will have difficulty.
2. Don't give out many personal details about yourself. Be as vague as possible. While online dating is a great place to meet new people (and many online daters are good people), you still are dealing with a stranger. And don't feel bad! Your safety is more important.
3. If someone online wants to have a pen pal situation, it could be because he or she is not who they say they are. People who are interested in dating, try to move it to the phone or in person quick.
4. If it's too good to be true, it usually is!
A hot 55 year old wealthy hedge fund manager who is lavishing compliments on a 70 year old lady is probably too good to be true (and not a hedge fund manager).
The fantasy sure sounds nice, but it's not reality unfortunately.