Modern ladies are amazing. They can be CEO’s of major companies. They can run for president of the United States. But they think they can aggressively pursue men and still have the romance they so desire. It’s simply not possible. Men and women are different in the relationship arena. Men love a chase. They love a little mystery. They are turned on by a woman who isn’t so easily conquered. This is not to say a woman can’t pursue a guy. She totally can. But she needs to know that if she does the pursuing, her guy may very well not decide to step up and pursue her, and she will be left holding the bag. From then on, she will have to be the pursuer. And if she is fine with that, that’s great. It’s just that I have seen so many women who pursue a guy - or help it along - and then complain because the guy doesn’t step up like they think he should. He is so used to her pushing the romance along, he doesn’t do any work. He doesn’t buy romantic gifts. He doesn’t make the decisions. He doesn’t move the relationship forward. It’s all on her. It becomes frustrating, exhausting and causes her to be insecure. Women who want a guy with initiative, one who will move the relationship forward, one who will romantically court her and take charge of the relationship, need to wait for the guy who pursues. That’s the best way to know if a guy really likes you. It’s the best way to have the romantic courtship that leads to a guy loving and adoring you. Hard for modern women who are used to being aggressive in their careers. I totally get it. I had the same problem - I didn’t think it was fair that I couldn’t pursue men. It didn’t seem right. But that is because I didn’t understand men. (Stay tuned for my new book on this topic, coming out in the fall. When you read the book, you will totally get men, and will be one step closer to being with a man who cherishes you). When my relationships always turned casual, I realized I needed to learn some new dating strategies. What I learned was that I could be aggressive in my career, but not when it came to pursing men. This is not to say that ladies should sit back and do nothing until Mr. Right knocks at their door. It’s important to aggressively get out there. Make sure you frequently get out to events where men are. Ask friends to set you up. Go online. Hire a matchmaker or get into a matchmaking database. (Feel free to email me on how to do that, as I am a matchmaker as well as a dating coach). Work on your mindset. If you really really want it, it will happen. If you are aggressive about the right things, Mr. Right will find you and pursue you. Just be patient. xoxo
Karenna Alexander gives smart successful women tools to weed out time-wasters and teaches them how to find their Mr. Forevers.
Karenna is a former journalist who became a dating coach after she sought help for and conquered a dating dilemma of her own. She has spent the last 15 years helping other women, teaching them how to date with self-esteem, and get into relationships with high quality men.
Over the years, Karenna has noticed that successful daters have four key areas where they excel. Sometimes women naturally possess one or more of these qualities, while other times, they need to be taught.
Make sure you stop by Karenna's testimonials page for a small sampling of quotes from Karenna's happy clients.