Ladies: 8 Tips to Keep Your Online Dating Profile From Sucking
I work with men on the matchmaking side of my business, and I have to say I understand men almost as good as, if not better than, they understand themselves. I say that not to be conceited but I have studied them on purpose for years - to help myself become a better dater and girlfriend and to be a better coach.
The better I understood men, the better my relationships were and the better coach I have been able to be.
For years, I have observed what works with men (I have a book coming out on this topic) and want to share online dating tips with you so your profile doesn’t get passed over.
It starts with the photos. They are essential! If a guy isn't attracted to your photo, forget everything else. But there are other ways you can mess up, even if you have a great photo, and I will go over them below.
We will go through them one by one, and and I will explain what you need to do to get attention on the dating sites and apps. Here we go:
Guys are very visual so you need to spend time on your photos. You should have a headshot and a body shot and maybe one other photo. If you don’t have a full body shot, you will very likely be passed over. Guys tell me all the time they think a woman who doesn’t show her full body is hiding something. So if you're only posting a headshot you may be missing out on a lot of good guys. Guys are visual so don't blame them for this, it’s just the way they are wired biologically.
Before you get a photo taken for online dating purposes, get a make-over. When you set up a photo shoot, book with a professional or have a friend who is good with the camera - the iPhone 7 has a great portrait feature and the camera is not too bad at all - take a few photos.
Smile for the camera. Giggling is cute, too. You want to convey that you are friendly and easygoing. Nothing in the world gets you down. I’ve heard from many men that when a woman is angry looking - even if she is attractive - they steer clear.
An online dating profile should be about you. The men scrolling through the profiles don’t really want to see photos of you with your girlfriends, or with your family, or your pet. Or photos of a sunset. Initially, they just want to see if they are attracted enough to you to ask you out on a date.
While you want to dress sexy (a formfitting dress is great), you need to be careful that you don’t cross the line. No bathing suit shots or risqué club photos. Those types of photos will attract the wrong guys and you will be back to square one.
Anything grainy or dated looks old and lackluster, not hot and inviting. Make sure the photos aren’t more than a year old. Some women put up photos that look like they were taken 20 years ago on an old school camera, and then photographed via an iPhone and uploaded to the dating site/app.
Select good quality photos with a high enough resolution - if they are too grainy, they look old and unappealing.
Also, if a photo is too old - say 10 or 20 years old - and you show up looking 10 or 20 years older on the date, your date will feel duped. This is a big complaint from men.
Don’t try too hard in your profile. No need to post more than three or four photos - you don't want to make it look like you're trying too hard. Guys tell me all the time that when women try too hard - in general - it is a major turn off.
You can also try too hard by wanting to overly impress a guy in your profile - talking about all the awards you have won at work, how fast you can run a mile, how many languages you speak, etc., etc., etc. A guy isn’t going to ask you on a date because of your amazing accomplishments.
Be careful what you say in your online profile! Less is more.
Too many women are turning guys off right away because they reveal way too much information about their personal life - their lives sound like a soap opera, and it makes men want to run the other way. Guys are looking for their dream girl, and a woman who airs all her dirty laundry loses that status quickly. Negativity is one of the traits men mention to me over and over again.
Don’t put an aggressive wish list in your bio section. Guys see a long list, and they immediately think: “Wow she sounds demanding.” I have heard this from men time and time again.
In fact, there’s no need to post a wish list at all, really. A guy isn’t going to email you back because he likes your wish list, and it backfires because it makes you look super high maintenance. If you feel like you need to post something akin to a wish list, simply say something chill, like: “I’m looking for a smart, funny chivalrous guy.”
Ladies, if you are anxious to find Mr. Right within the next year, please book a free 30 minute Soul Connection Session with me, and I will tell you what steps you need to take to get there. My goal is to get you all in happy relationships with your Mr. Right and Mr. Forever! It can happen for you, it really can! xoxo
Just send me an email and we can schedule a session!