Are you getting unmatched on Tinder?

I hear a lot of women complaining when this happens. Don't fret.
It could be for a whole host of reasons that have nothing to do with you.

The person could have gotten kicked off the site. Or left voluntarily. (He might have been married and got caught red-handed). It might have been a fake profile that was unmatching you.

You don't know what you're dealing with online, so don't let any of this stuff stress you out.

Focus on what you can control, and that is lining up dates with men who ask you out within four emails. Get on other sites besides Tinder. Sites that clients have had great luck on, besides Tinder, include Match, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Plenty of Fish. (Depending on where you live, certain sites are better than others, so try them all and see how it plays out). Remember, it only takes one guy! He's out there, you just have to try it all. 

xoxo,

Karenna ​

Celebrities and other VIP guys are like any other men.  If they get something too easily, they don't appreciate it. They won't necessarily turn down someone who makes it easy to have a one-night stand. But doing so will work to a woman's disadvantage.

Contrast the story below in "Page Six" about actor Orlando Bloom's one-night stand with a waitress, with the story of how Amal and George met.

Amal reportedly refused George's invitation to visit him in his hotel room. She's a total class act, wasn't out to bag a celebrity or brag about it to her friends. She had high standards, and did the seemingly impossible—ended up getting one of the world's most eligible bachelors to propose.

Here's a link to the waitress who had a hotel tryst that didn't go anywhere.

Stay classy and you'll go farther with men in the long run.

If you'd like to apply to work together to learn to weed out time wasters, date like a confident "it girl," and learn to understand men, apply here:
https://karenna1.typeform.com/to/YaF1PF

If you would like to purchase my booklet called Getting Clarity on Mr. Forever, email me at coachkarenna@karennaalexander.com and I'll send it to you.  For the price of only $29, the booklet helps you get crystal clear on your Mr. Forever, so clear and confident in what you want that you have no choice but to MAN-ifest it.

Don't fall for one of the oldest tricks in the book. Some women are flattered by this type of request from a man. Don't be. When you understand men, you realize when a man asks you over to his house for dinner, it's nothing special. In fact, it can be a bad sign.

His aim is to get you to serve yourself up to him on a silver platter so he can sleep with you easily. It's a lazy way to court a woman. Not all men who ask women to dinner at their house are bad guys. They may be spoiled. 

However, you should turn such a request down. If he's the right guy, he'll respect that you aren't ready to have home dates. If he's not a good guy, you'll weed him out fairly quickly. (There's a time and place for home dates, but this is for much later on).

If a guy drops off because you won't have dinner at his house, be thankful you're weeding out Mr. Wrong. Some guys can't do the courtship dance. It is too much for them. They're either buyer bewares or not quite as interested as you want them to be.

Has a guy ever asked to cook you dinner at his house (or your house)? How did it turn out? Feel free to post below and share your experiences.

If you would like to apply to work together to learn to weed out time wasters, date like a confident "it girl," and learn to understand men, apply here:
https://karenna1.typeform.com/to/YaF1PF
​

If you've been trying to meet men online, there's a good chance you've run into this question from a man:

"Can you send over more photos?"

This is usually a red flag.

When you have a full body shot and a headshot on an online dating site, there's no reason why a man should be asking for more photos.

Ignore this type of request. 

If a man needs to see more photos to date you, something's off. He isn't convinced you're his type. Or he's collecting photos of women.

You don't want to be part of either. Move on to the next guy.

There's always another man around the corner. 
​
xoxo,

Karenna 

If you would like to apply to work together to learn to weed out time wasters, date like a confident "it girl," and learn to understand men, apply here:
https://karenna1.typeform.com/to/YaF1PF

Sometimes an easygoing guy is a great guy, and other times he's indifferent and apathetic about you. The longer you date, the easier it is to figure out which is which.

This is why I advocate multi-dating. Because the man who seems so great in the beginning can turn into a complete cad a few months in.

One woman I know dated a man whose online dating profile said something like: "easygoing, laid back and down-to-earth, treats everyone well."

He seemed that way early on, and on the surface. 

Ultimately, he turned out to be indifferent, entitled, heartless, and quite cold. He planned a fishing trip for her birthday (because he liked to fish), and when that fell through because his friends weren't available for the trip, he skipped her birthday. He basically never said one word when her cat died. He essentially ghosted without saying anything after they'd been together many months.

Morale of the story is words are just words until they're backed up by the actions of a good man who is moving a relationship forward in the right way.

Have you ever dated an easygoing guy who turned out to be indifferent? Feel free to share your story below.
xoxo,

Karenna 

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.” 
― Elie Wiesel

If you would like to apply to work together to learn to weed out time wasters, date like a confident "it girl," and learn to understand men, apply here to work with me:
https://karenna1.typeform.com/to/YaF1PF

​There are so many reasons why this is bad. 
It boils down to boundaries. Having blurred boundaries with an ex, or in general, can mess up a good thing or prevent you from getting into a good thing.

People in unhealthy relationships or those who seem to find themselves in bad relationships often have blurry boundaries in general and that includes staying too close to exes and others who aren't good for them. When you strengthen your boundaries overall, your relationships become better in all areas of your life.

An ex is an ex for a reason. Even if your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband is a great guy, you should focus on meeting other men. Frankly, I see too many women clinging to exes—who were bad for them—for low-level reasons, including for financial perks, a shoulder to cry on, and help when they get into an emergency situation, like a car accident. That's what AAA is for. That's what family, friends, neighbors, support groups, etc. etc. etc., are for.

And there's no reason for a woman to ever give an ex a gift for a holiday or any other occasion. Unless you're divorced and you have a 5-year-old child together, for example, and your child wants to give "daddy" a Father's Day (or whatever holiday) gift. You should buy a gift so your 5-year-old can give his father a gift. Beyond that, gift giving to an ex is extremely unhealthy and dysfunctional and evidence of very poor boundaries. Plus, masculine men don't want gifts, especially from ex-es. (More on gift giving in another blog).

This isn't to say you're nasty to your ex. If you have to be in touch, you have to be in touch, but keep it at a surface level. You may need to stay in touch because of your children, or due to professional or other reasons, but even in those cases, be cordial, but that's it. 

If you're having problems with your current boyfriend, the last person on earth you should be talking to is your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband. If you're doing this, it means you need new and better friends.

If your ex is happy and in love, leave him be. It’s bad karma to mess with a man who’s taken. If he's a healthy guy who has moved on and is in a healthy relationship, he'll be happy you're leaving him alone. 
And if he’s the type of guy who has a weak ego that needs to be fed by weird drama, stay away. If he's one of those messed-up guys who loves messed-up relationships, you may be feeding his sick ego by staying in his life, and he may be using your calls and presence in a sick attempt to make his current girlfriend or wife jealous.
Former or latter, you don't want any part of either scenario.  You have your own beautiful life to focus on.

Some clients have asked me what to say to an ex when they run into him at work or elsewhere. These women don't have children in common or professional reasons to be in touch, but they wonder if they should be polite. If he was a decent guy who treated you well, you can be polite and cordial, of course. But if the guy turned out to be a creep, steer clear. He doesn't deserve a second of your precious time. Don't squander the sexy!

xoxo, 

Karenna